she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
