I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
