We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
