It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You're like the curious george of whores
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
