I'm lost and stupid without you.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
