Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
