i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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