I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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