well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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