how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
