I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
