sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
