I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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