If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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