His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
