You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
