just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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