he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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