no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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