I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
