mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
