they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
