I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
