First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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