He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
