So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
