He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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