Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
