Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
