I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
