I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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