We're facebook friends in real life
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
there is glitter all over my balls
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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