I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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