party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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