If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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