I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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