i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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