how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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