Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
