At least make sure they are 18
Why
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
and she was petting her beer can
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
