My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
