Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You can't just leave with hair like that
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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