Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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