we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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