You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Randomize
