just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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