Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
