she woke up with a sticky ear
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
