you would pick up someone in the library
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
