last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
