apparently the secret to your success is patron
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
