Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
